Social Skills Tip of the Day!

When meeting new people, look them in the closest proximation of the eye as your anxiety will allow. 

Smile as best you can approximate, without grimacing like you have to poop. 

Say their name at least three times in the conversation, so that you remember their name.  

But if you forget, there is no need to move to a new state in the dead of night.  You can say, "I am sorry, but I forgot your name.  Can you please tell it to me again?"  Most people will forgive you for not remembering their name, unless you've been married for the past thirty years.  

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

 If you are a kid, and the person speaking to you is an adult, do not speak to them using slang.  Old folks (people in their 40s and beyond) will have no recognition of your favorite catchphrases and the fancy new word for cool. To be honest, it's a miracle any of us mastered using English back them when the dinosaurs walked the earth.  Be nice to us and use plain English.  Thank you.  

Social Skills Around Angry People.

When you're minding your business, but someone is in your face, screaming(and usually spitting) that you are impinging upon their freedoms about whatever, there is only one polite thing to do.  

No, it is not "punch them right in the face".  That is the way to be arrested for assault, and that is not recommended.  

The polite thing to do is say, "Okay." 

Then walk away.  

Why do we walk away?  Can't we just kick them in the shins?  They started it!

As someone once told me, you cannot play tug-of-war unless the other person grabs the rope.  If you walk away, you deprive this angry person of their sole purpose in life, which is to argue with anyone and everyone. 

Walk away.  

If they follow you, because they want to make one more spittle-infested point about the black hole of their life, walk to someplace where there are other people.   

Walk away. 

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If you are talking on the phone, and someone approaches and stands in front of you like they are waiting for something, that means they are waiting for YOU to hang up the phone so they can talk to you.

So hang up the dang phone! 

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If you are a young mother, and you encounter an older mother such as myself, do not loudly make fun of my shoes. I was in a hurry and grabbed two different shoes. Real moms do that.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If you are staying in a hotel that serves a free breakfast, do not show up in the lobby wearing your jammies. This will horrify the other patrons, and may ruin some appetites. Especially if your pajamas of choice are boxers.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If your girl friend is in a bad mood, do not, under ANY circumstances, mention PMS. Just Don't.  Unless she brings it up first.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

Just because the policeman is polite does not mean that he has a sense of humor. Do not ask to play with his nightstick.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

Just because you saw it on your dad's old "Girls Gone Wild" dvd, does NOT mean that it is okay to lift up your shirt and flash your headlights in public. 

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If you approach someone and start talking, but they seem to be ignoring you, do not reach over and grab their chin so they look at you.  This will lead to a punch in the face.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If a small child approaches you , smiles sweetly, and then calls you a 'poopyhead', do not get upset.  Follow the "When in Rome" rule.  "Poopyhead" might be a term of endearment. 

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

Throwing poop is not a good way to win friends.

Especially if it is not your own poop.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If someone tells you that they do not want to talk about something, then change the subject or they will probably punch you right in the face.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

If you are trying to be helpful, but you are using sarcasm to do this, you are going to get punched in the face.

Social Skills Tip of the Day!

Nobody wants to see the stuff that comes out of your nose.  If you happen to pick your nose, do so privately while in the bathroom, not at the table during lunch.

Social Skills Tip of the Day

When someone tells you to "Piss off," they don't mean that literally.  Really.

Social Skills Tip of the Day

There is NEVER a good reason to pull on or otherwise "fix" your underpants in public, even if someone just gave you a wedgie.

Social Skills Tip of The Day!

When someone says something that you KNOW to be incorrect or inaccurate, it is impolite to interrupt them and tell them. Wait until they have finished speaking before calling them an idiot and pointing out their mistake.

Social Skills Tip of the Day

When a police officer asks you to do something, just do it.  He has a gun and other various devices that can hurt you, or worse, make you pee your pants in public.

Social Skills Tip of The Day

Fair does NOT mean that everyone gets the same thing.  Fair is when everyone gets what they need,  Not everyone needs the 57in television with the kung-fu grip.  Except my husband.